How not to be a bridesmaid: The Rules:

You need to like my fiancée,
But you'd better love my dress!
It has become my identity -
I keep its picture in my purse.

Hate my future mother in law,
But help her learn to like me. 
Show her my worth with the company I keep
And don't spare a thought for your dresses.

Know the difference between ivory and white
And whether that glass goes on the left or the right.
Wipe my tears, calm my fears - never, ever disagree.
Remind me why I chose you, by sharing all your views
- But never, I said never, ever disagree. 

Don't worry about your dresses,
That's all under control
I have contacts and colleagues, 
Classmates who will help.

Panic for me, jump for me,
Never ask me how high.
Let me hear yeses - without second guesses:
Because our thoughts are my thoughts - your thoughts exactly.

Understand the neurosis
Pick up on every whim.
Let bells chime all morning
Ignoring each and every crisis.

Keep smiling, keep quiet,
Keep me calm and carry on...
And definitely don't worry at all about your dresses.

Be comfortable and funny
Remember who you are.
Be generous, be kind
And lead us to the dance floor.

Be the reason you are here:
My beloved trusted friends.
Who have laughed with me and loved me
Even more so now than then.

Don't worry about your dresses,
They are my only gift to you.
A keep-sake of our friendship:
A memory just like you.