10, 9, 8, 7, 6.......

Deep breaths calm me as the strip lighting burns my skin.

Warm air is passed across my body but my feet are cold

And full of doubt.

Eyes look down at me, smiling through masks

Repeating questions - already knowing the answers.

The faint smell of fear shrouded by disinfectant and germs

Tickles at my throat threatening a cough.

A rush of senses sweeps across my chest

- then black.

I'm drunk, I'm confused.

Arms restrict my hands as they check for my face.

Wheels turn and the ceiling moves,

Strip light after light.

It is done. I exhale.

Tears follow relief, follows more questions

- then pain.

Being home

I know the answer to the first question - nowhere

When will I - never.

Got to make do and do what I can

Be better, feel better, look better.

Looks matter more now.

All I have is that look in the mirror

- it smiled in the states,

A state of mind?

A state of madness and love and connection

But the connection's lost,

Even my Internet won't click.

Exchange is fleeting

Signal is weak.

Buses pass me by -

No one will take me where I need to go....

Who will?

For Father's Day

For the way you raised me to believe in myself and be strong in my mind:

            Thank you

For the way you taught me respect and humility towards others in this world:

            Thank you

For the way you encourage me and allow me to follow my dreams:

            Thank you

For the way you love my friends and embrace them into your life:

            Thank you

For the way you put up with me and my mess:

            Thank you

For everything I know you do to make my life wonderful:

            Thank you

For everything I don’t realise you do to make my life wonderful:

            Thank you

For being bricks and mortar and warmth and strength and love and support:

            Thank you

For being you: Thank you

Love is not simply a combination of two people

It is an invisible connection that binds hearts to souls.

Sometimes love is as sweet as a raindrop sliding across your skin.

Sometimes it is as dry and lonely as an echo in the desert.

Love is the gift of sharing everything you have

And everything you do

And everything you see in this world.

An exchange; a life for a life.

From love explodes something new,

But not just something new, new life

 And not just new life, a new being

And not just a new being but a new generation of being alive, born from love

By Sandeepa Samarasinghe 29^th May

Translated by Caro Dixey

Free writing: Love is……

Love is a joke.

Its not real. How can it be?

How can it exist in the souls of thousands people all at once.

Love is beauty and peace,

Sitting in silence without having to think about the next moment.

Love lasts forever. It doesn’t fade or disappear.

It is a tattoo on your heart that you either expose and accept

or you betray your self and the fact that is beating in your chest.

Love is changed, hurt, destroyed, ended and raped by life.

What happens around us corrupts the heart and makes the mind lie to itself to serve its pleasure.

Don’t tell me you will love me forever,

Tell me you’ll try, knowing the truth that

Life; us; you; me; him; her; them; it will always change.

That change is time

And Love is time stopped still.

How to smoke a cigarette aggressively

• Before lighting and during smoking ensure that all gesticulations are emphasized sharply with said cigarette.
• Shake lighter violently and continue roll the flint a number of times before and after ignition.
• Always inhale twice in one puff letting out a dribble of smoke in between.
• Rip the cigarette sharply from your lips in a large exaggerated motion. Tilt your head to the sky and pout with your lower lip as you shoot the smoke upwards with an angry exhale.
• Now bite down hard pulling your lips away from your teeth as you suck in a fraction of fresh air before your next drag.

  

Unrequited

One person always loves more than the other.

Lovers harder, loves longer,

More longingly looking for equal reciprocation

That just isn’t there.

One person always steals that last extra kiss,

One more than was offered:

Head tipped, waiting to be met

While their opposite relaxes (edging slightly back).

One person’s grip is always tighter, always firmer

Making up for another’s casual nature.

One person has to say goodbye first,

hang up first, not look back first.

One person’s only is only for a time,

One person’s forever is always more forever than the other’s.