The D word

Nothing new, nothing changed,

Nothing that hasn't been said:

She's dead.

Not passed, not gone,

Not, no longer with us:

She's, dead.

So I'm a different me

And We're a different we.

The more things stay the same

The more he is different,

Without, because she died.

Widowed, left behind

Fending all alone

- And he has, found strength,

More love than I knew he had.

A better man? A different he -

So We're a different we.

Everything is new

So much has changed

A seed was sown

Already so grown,

In a role unknown, evolved so well

-  But she's dead

So won't see that She's a different she

And We're a different we.

I was changed... for good?

When I watched her die.

Everything is different

I’m not the me she saw.

Much older now and weather worn

I found new. Moved

On to moments never shared.

A different me; A better I?

A different, 'different we'.

Yellowness

Sunflowers in line

Standing at attention

Facing their maker, dressed in cheerful gold

Lines, rows; perfectly ruled

Nodding with the weight of their smile.

Swaying at length with the rhythm of the wind

Green wisps of hair tickle at their chin

A chorus of yellowness, bathing in blue

What are they waiting for; who do they call?

The call to me, a call from you.

For the man I now know

You are the man I never would have known,

Yours is the love that was always there.

It went unnoticed as real life passed,

My unsung hero that clothed and fed me.

Out of the politics, away from the drama,

Like bullet proof glass, invisible, you were there.

Your love grew like a tree, wrapping in and round me,

Beknown I am supported, encased, uplifted.

Like the foundations of a house, never to be seen,

You were there, you are here, you hear, you see.

Unexpected learns and unrequired turns,

Selfless in each and every act that you do.

A gentleman, who spoils my deepest cynic,

The tallest, safest place that I know.

A gift that consoles the deepest of wounds,

Bound in this grief, united with strength.

You are the man I never would have known;

You are the man who makes me my own.

The Break

Back to reality!

                   Whose?

Once mine, now what?

What's real? Normal. 

             Reality runs up, 

life goes down

    Across lines of an evidenced world. One that speaks

A different tongue.

New. Not normal?

 : Eyes are different

--------- Not like that. The

Looks are different

Not looks like  -'looks'-

....What eyes do 

How they act, is weird -  

Or not.    

Maybe I just forgot.

Life is different

- But not really.

Different in ways

I don't understand 

                      - how?

I'm different - it's me

That's weird

-

but not.

A 'New' normal.    With new feelings. 

'I'm new -      

               "different"

Don't tell him

Don't tell him

Don't tell him that I said:

He's right - I'm always wrong.

Don't tell him I was listening

Or learning, waiting for unknowns.

Don't tell him that I care

What he thinks and how he says.

Don't let him know I trust him

'Cause I can tell him all of me.

Keep secret he's a beautiful friend

Loyal and strong to the core.

Don't tell him he's my confidant

His advice lands far too much.

Don't tell that he's interesting

Do not laugh at all his jokes.

Don't let him keep interrupting you

With: "listen...No, no listen".

Don't tell him who he really is

He's not supposed to know.

But shout to those without the knows:

His absence is their loss.