Flying home for Christmas

I'm heartsick for your arms around me

Squeezing me like you'll never let go.

Tears are lined up in my tired eyes

Fighting to get out, impatient for your sight.

The minutes linger in the air

Through hours of clouds that go further than I.

I try to sleep, to dream of not being awake

To dream that you'll wake me with your gentlest call. 

I'm so close, so nearly there

There where I want to belong

Here where I learned how to live again.

I'm exhausted with anticipation

Unsteadied by emotion.

Overcome with love, so ready for your warmth. 

I just want to sit next to you:

Watch the whiles go by with you,

To hear you call my name

And be the version of me that's native to you.

Another minute, another mile

Another few hours and you're mine.

My beloved. My joy. My soul. My safety.

My favourite place: Chicago.

My favourite me in you. 

B.B

I still think of you

And it makes me warm

What could have been

Not always was, now never is.

Your smile, your skin,

The look that made me safe,

It’s still here in my chest,

Right next to my heart.

Never made it through,

Never broke the seal

So there they stay:

Your look and my heart,

Too close, but you’re too far,

Too long ago to forget the feeling.