Thursday, 16 March 2017

The Break

Back to reality!
                   Whose?
Once mine, now what?
What's real? Normal. 

             Reality runs up, 




life goes down
    Across lines of an evidenced world. One that speaks
A different tongue.
New. Not normal?

 : Eyes are different
--------- Not like that. The
Looks are different
Not looks like  -'looks'-
....What eyes do 
How they act, is weird -  
Or not.    
Maybe I just forgot.

Life is different
- But not really.
Different in ways
I don't understand 
                      - how?
I'm different - it's me
That's weird
-
but not.

A 'New' normal.    With new feelings. 
'I'm new -      
               "different"

Don't tell him

Don't tell him

Don't tell him I said that:
That he's right - I'm always wrong.
Don't tell him I was listening
Or learning or waiting till it was known.

Don't tell him that I care
What he thinks and how he says.
Don't let him know I trust him
I can tell him all of me.

Keep secret he's a beautiful friend
Loyal and strong to the core.
Don't tell him he's my confidant
His advice lands far too much

Don't tell that he is interesting
Do not laugh at all his jokes.
Don't let him keep interrupting you
With listen. No, no listen.

Don't tell him who he really is
He's not supposed to know.
But shout those without the knows
His absence is their loss.  

Friday, 21 October 2016

That Tired Spot

A tiny spot
Unseen by most,
Can't wash, don't fade, won't be cast out.

An itch
Unscratched,
Beyond reach of tired hands
From sore hearts that worry, exhausted by feeling.

A tiny spot willed away
In spite, despite, a never ending pain.
Too long every day continuing the fight
In vain. In hope for relief to surely come.

A tiny spot
That grows in the night
In crowds of empty thoughts, moments ticking by.
It’s shadow firmly cast on tomorrow’s every promise
As tomorrow’s shadow creeps firmly across the floor.

A tiny spot
Distracted by ambition,
Poked by desire; sunshine and a smile.
Smoothed by beauty, with light and love,
Muffled in friendship: understanding and true.
Calmed by fire, in peace, in rage; suffocated with hatred
And emptiness and wine. And envy and failure and longing and rain and sorrow and blood
And tears that tear at the fabric of everything there is  
                                                                                -   but still. Nothing, will ever touch 

                                                                                                           The tired spot.
  


Sunday, 7 August 2016

That Day

That Day

This is the day, the day it comes:
The day that second, that brings these tears
Writes these words, takes all my strength
Repeats in this world.

This is the day I see your face,
Empty, unmoving – your face but not you.
It’s the day I let real in my heart
A burden too great, a thought too hard,
Until it comes with pained reverence
- That second


I remember the moment - it killed me too.
Took from me what I’d never know
Stole memories old and new. 
Removed my life to a place we never shared
But nothing waited, nothing cared.

The water boiled and the sun went down.
Flowers grew, watered with tears
- An incessant rain that taps on my heart
Like the sound of a clock that never stopped...
Not even for a second. That second,
This one.
Today.


Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Mother's Commute

Mother’s Commute

Look at me Mama!
- I’m looking at my phone
But I want you to look at me
- Stop distracting me please
Can I see? Whatcha doing?
- I said, don’t touch.


Look at me Mama!
- I just got a message
Who is it? For me?
- It’s private, don’t do that.
Can I tell you something Mama?
- I’m busy, don’t speak


Look at me Mama!
- I’m talking to someone
Can you talk to me now?
- Only when I’m done
School was fun today
- Good, now don’t move.


Do you love me Mama?
- Of course I do.
Will you look at me now?
- I see you child, but I’m busy
Ok Mama but…
- But what I’m –

I’m all grown up now.

Monday, 4 January 2016

But Today...


 
But today…

I knew pain, I’d lost, I’d wept

I knew helplessness and hopes abandon; but today…

 

I knew wringing my hands, my heart of tears

Tearing down my life, clouding every breath

Each long inhale taking the misery deeper in my being

A figure stood alone; but today… I cannot breathe.

 

I’d picked myself up, worked hard for every smile

Kept warm on only memory, the remembrance of joy

I carried on, pushed forward against the world

With all my self, my will; but today… I’m strong no more.

 

I knew of unfair hands, pure hearts unravelling without cause

Too soon: taken too far, too cruelly from them they love

I thought I was safe, my scars, they were healing…

And then today…Today, again…

 
 

Monday, 19 October 2015

Remember Louis


Remember Louis


"What a wonderful world" from one place to 'nother 
A memory flashes past on gently plucked string
Taken back, aback with emotion
A native moment 'mongst most foreign a time
Familiarity that's family when there's no one else you know
And contentment struck in every chord
Floating smiles past tired eyes: Past lives that feel so real.  

Each noteful moment itself is multiplied
Hope now squared, welling in each eye
Homely tones of yesterday's love 
Seep through my skin to calm the storm
My fears cooled by tears, wept in only okayness 
A deep breath to drink those final bars
Before the wonderful world again is less.